My husband used ChatGPT to become a better husband. I hate to admit it, but it helped.

My husband is always trying to grow — as a husband, dad, entrepreneur, and overall good person. Our marriage is by no means perfect, but we're both always willing to hear each other out, work through challenges together, and troubleshoot solutions.

His prompt was brief, but honest and straightforward — I'm sometimes short-tempered and end up saying something I shouldn't. I've recognized these six different scenarios as triggers... What are some tips and tricks I can use to not be so short?

I've read tons of articles about the "ChatGPT doctor" and, through my PR work supporting both tech companies and behavioral health organizations, have discussed at length the concerns about using AI for things like medical advice or therapy. But that wasn't what triggered me — it was that he was being given an answer, cutting corners to avoid analyzing personal missteps or thinking about what comes next. Instead, he hit enter and received a 30-day "tone reset plan."

First was the psychological breakdown of why he reacts the way he does. Because my husband uses AI for all facets of his life — from personal branding to strategy help for his business to tracking calories— it knows him quite well on a personal level.

It first responded by touching on the fact that because he has overcome heart surgeries, fights as a young adult, and chaos, his nervous system is "wired for intensity," so his body flips into threat mode, and when that happens, he goes from "thoughtful husband/father to protector/defender in 0.2 seconds."

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And then, ChatGPT told him what his brain hears in that moment—the translated versions of "I'm not being valued", "I'm losing control", or "Something bad is about to happen." When fear takes over, like the potential worry of our child being in danger, that naturally leads to fight or flight mode. That is all logistical, but my focus was particularly sharpened when I thought about the first part of the response about not feeling valued.

For example, when feeling disrespected, a productive way to respond to get clarity and avoid escalating the situation could come by saying: "Hey, that came off a little sharp. What did you mean?"

Following the specific examples and bigger picture view about building calm authority, ChatGPT offered to build him a 30-day plan, "something tactical you can run like you would your short-term rental business." That one made me chuckle and cringe at the same time — because he is so tactical and loves approaching scenarios as business challenges. It knew exactly how to provide guidance and advice in a way that resonated with him, and he did indeed request the plan.

So maybe it doesn't matter where growth starts. If a conversation with ChatGPT strengthens my marriage, who am I to argue with that?