My partner and I always thought we agreed on money. Then, we moved in together.

The writer, who grew up in Mexico and spent much of adulthood in New York and London, had been financially independent while single. That changed after entering a serious relationship with a partner who also grew up in Mexico and lived abroad.

They initially expected to split costs such as groceries and dates evenly. Months later, they moved in together and found that agreeing on money in principle did not mean they viewed spending the same way.

The writer preferred finding cheaper housing to leave more money for travel and meals out. The couple also differed over which purchases felt worthwhile, including travel, games and collectibles.

Neither partner fits a simple saver-or-spender label. Instead, they both spend but prioritize different things, making shared financial choices more complicated.

They began sorting expenses into necessities, individual priorities and activities they value together. This approach helped distinguish joint decisions from personal spending; the article does not describe further plans.