I always dreamed of having 4 kids. After becoming a mom, I only want 1.
The writer grew up in a Latino immigrant family and often looked after younger siblings. That experience helped shape her early hope of raising a large family.
As she entered her 30s, built her career and married, she began questioning that plan. The physical demands, emotional workload and cost of raising several children in Los Angeles felt daunting.
It took nearly two years for her and her husband to conceive. A difficult labor and delivery left her feeling unable to go through pregnancy and birth again.
More than a year after their son was born, the couple is adjusting to life with a toddler. The writer describes constant caregiving, little sleep and challenges looking after her own well-being.
Because they began trying for a family in their late 30s, the couple had already lowered their hopes from four children to two. Now, her experiences as a mother have led her to consider having only one; the article does not say whether they have made a final decision.
Key points
- She once imagined raising four children, partly shaped by caring for siblings.
- A difficult birth, parenting demands and family costs changed how she sees having more children.
- The couple had reduced their goal to two, but she now considers stopping at one.