2,000 hours spent cross stitching after 2 divorces: She learned perfection can include mistakes

A quiet house and a new hobby

After her second marriage fell apart, the writer replayed conversations and warning signs in the quiet home she had shared with her husband and three stepchildren. She wanted something to occupy her thoughts, so she tried cross-stitching.

Her first project was a small scene reading “Happy Camper.” Moving between its pine tree, lettering and camping vehicle, she finished within a couple of hours and felt proud of the accomplishment. The work had also distracted her from her low mood.

Mistakes became part of stitching

She moved on to a more demanding map of the United States, with a different pattern for each state. Texas’s design, a collage of pink and teal flowers, repeatedly caught her out.

At times, she stitched for hours before noticing a counting mistake. She would cut into the back, unravel the work and begin again, sometimes spending an evening undoing a few misplaced stitches because she feared anything short of perfection would spoil the project.

A repair that changed her view

Rather than abandon one damaged section, she removed it and stitched in a clean piece of fabric. She worried the repair would stand out, but as she continued, she could barely see the seam.

The repair showed her that a project could still be beautiful despite a technical flaw. She realized the lesson applied beyond the embroidery hoop, too.

Learning what to let go

After more than 2,000 hours of cross-stitching, her nightly routine had become a way to think about life after divorce. She began separating mistakes worth correcting from imperfections she could accept.