Single Mom With ADHD Chooses Not to Hide Burnout From Her Kids

When energy runs out

Some nights, the mother tells her sons that her battery is nearly empty. She becomes quieter, leaves laundry for another day, and finds video game sounds harder to tolerate.

When both boys speak at once, she may be unable to take in what either is saying. At times, overstimulation leads to a shutdown in which decisions feel difficult and her thoughts are hard to organize.

An ADHD diagnosis at 38

She was diagnosed with ADHD at 38 and says she had not realized other people’s brains worked differently. She describes a mind crowded by competing songs, conversations, ideas, and thoughts.

As a child, she often reached a similar wall, but her parents did not know what was happening. She was not physically hyperactive, and learned to push through while appearing calm; from the outside, she later seemed highly functional, earning top grades, working hard, and becoming an entrepreneur.

Making room for different needs

A family therapist compared people to cell phones, with batteries that drain and recharge in different ways. The mother says she and her older son are introverts who may enjoy company but need quiet afterward.

For her, recharging requires time without conversation, questions, or decisions. She says she is not asking her children to look after her; she is letting them understand her limits and modeling how to explain what they need.

A different idea of strength

For much of her life, she thought strength meant continuing until others could not see her struggle. Now she wants her sons to notice what uses up their energy and what helps restore it. Her message is to tell loved ones what is needed and not wait until energy is nearly gone before taking a break.