Opinion: Late in Life, Here’s What I’ve Come to Know
A question of impact
The sight prompts a question familiar to older people: has his life made a difference? He points to his family and friends, but says a writer cannot tell whether work sent to an unseen public changes anyone’s mind or heart.
Usefulness as a purpose
The writer recalls a conversation in the 1990s with Lewis Thomas, a physician and author who was dying. While preparing a Times essay about Thomas, he wanted to ask him about death; Thomas preferred to discuss life.
Thomas said he believed life’s purpose was to be useful. The writer agrees, connecting that idea to a teaching attributed to Abdul El-Sayed, Michigan’s senator-elect, and to the Talmud: saving one life is like saving all humanity.
Making others feel seen
For the writer, usefulness includes extending empathy to people who may feel abandoned or alone. Every week or so, he writes to a friend who has recently lost a partner.
Such attention can help someone feel that their time and presence matter, and offer a sense of love amid modern isolation. The writer sees this care as more than a ripple made by a life.
Key points
- The sight of a tugboat leads the writer to question the impact of his life.
- He says writers cannot know how their work affects an unseen readership.
- Lewis Thomas described the purpose of living as being useful.
- The writer finds meaning in contacting friends who have lost partners.