How 30 Foreplay Ideas Can Seriously Heat Things Up, According to Experts

Foreplay can stand alone

Foreplay is often treated as a lead-in to penetrative sex, but it can instead be the main event. Activities such as kissing, massage, oral sex and mutual masturbation may also fall under outercourse, which refers to sexual activity without penetration.

There is no single approach that works for everyone. Partners may want to spend time exploring each other, move straight to sex, or choose experiences that involve neither penetration nor orgasm.

Build anticipation together

Sexy texts or voice messages can give a partner something to look forward to, whether they arrive in the morning or later in the day. Check that the recipient is comfortable with sexual messages before sending explicit content.

Small affectionate touches during the day can also create anticipation. Dr. Tara says playful touch can help partners stay attuned to each other and build excitement.

Explore touch and pleasure

Taking turns focusing on a partner’s pleasure can make the experience more attentive. Shaffer describes giving pleasure as a potential turn-on for both people, and encourages partners to notice what their partner enjoys.

Hands can be used to explore different kinds of touch, including around the clitoris, vaginal opening, penis, thighs or nipples. Sensitivity varies, so check in before changing pressure or intensity; asking what feels good can help guide the experience.

Longer kissing is another option. Dr. Joy says extended make-outs can support arousal and reconnection, while nipple play may involve gentle touch or other sensations if both partners are interested.