I can't take back the vacations I never took with my kids. At 51, I'm saying yes to solo travel.

As I walked through the Julia Child kitchen exhibit at the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History, I felt like I was experiencing the moment I had seen in the movie "Julie and Julia," when the main character, Julie, took a photo in the museum with a stick of butter.

Instead, I was exploring the world of Smithsonian museums alone. While I strolled the halls, I watched parents and kids in the gift shops together buying different trinkets to remind them of their time together. Yet, here I was finally traveling, just me, my phone, and my suitcase.

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After my day at the museum, exhausted from the long walks and metro rides, I looked through the dozens of photos I'd taken and realized again that the two most important people weren't there with me. I took my very first vacation to the capital of America without my sons, and that hurt.

Instead, we stuck to local fun, like long drives to the beach. In my mind, I always believed there would be another summer when we could go on vacation as a family. I planned for it, too, looking through travel magazines in the bookstore and hoping that one day we would take adventures together.

Divorce changed me as a mother. I took on different roles in the household to make sure my kids had what they needed for school and their future careers. Looking back, I now see that I left out one of the most important aspects of their childhood — traveling and seeing new cities, dipping toes into the sand at different beaches, and exploring the world together. I postponed the vacations till they got older, and I postponed the joy.

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My kids eventually grew up, graduated high school, and went to college. They became independent, wanted to spend time with their friends, and no longer needed me in the same ways they once did. The survival mode we lived in consumed me, and the joy of planning and taking a summer vacation with kids never had a chance. Looking back, I know that's not something I can get back.

As I embraced being an empty nester, a friend in DC called me and said, "Why don't you travel? Come to DC and see all the art you want here."

That is when I decided to permit myself to start a new chapter. My life was not over just because my kids grew up and moved out, or because my marriage or other relationships ended. I booked my trip and started planning. And this time, I went. ​

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