Divorce can be boring: Amanda Seyfried made the writer’s words go viral; here’s why we want it boring

A call to normalize divorce

The writer says conversations about divorce often turn into investigations: people want to know what happened and who was at fault. In her view, that scrutiny reaches ordinary people as well as celebrities.

She wrote about her own divorce and a family history that included divorced parents and grandparents. Although divorce felt normal in her family, she says society continued to treat it as scandalous or as a failure. She has advocated for a different view through Fresh Starts Registry, which she co-founded with her sister five years ago.

In the post Seyfried shared, the writer called making divorce ordinary and accessible a radical act. By Monday morning, the words were appearing in celebrity news coverage.

Seyfried shares the post

Seyfried shared a photograph of herself embracing Thomas Sadoski, the father of her children. She had announced their separation in September and tagged him in the post. The writer says the attention brought wider notice to her effort to normalize divorce. She argues that a marriage ending should not automatically be treated as a mystery or a public judgment about the people involved.

A family with a new shape

The writer’s sons are 10 and 13. They live upstairs in her childhood home, while her mother and stepfather live downstairs. Homework, snacks, school pickups, activities, and movie-night negotiations fill their days, with their grandparents part of the routine.

She wants her sons to see their family as whole, not as a lesser version of one they have lost. That does not mean denying that divorce can be difficult: children may miss things, wish circumstances were different, or have complicated feelings about adults’ decisions.

The writer says her sons need not celebrate the divorce to love their family as it is. She wants them to understand that adults can change their lives, and that marriage is not the only measure of adulthood or good parenting.

Care matters more than roofs

Parents often ask the writer whether ending a marriage harms children or destroys a family. She understands the fear, but says family life can change shape without its members disappearing. She explains it to her sons through the idea that energy changes form.

In her view, children need care and stability during difficult transitions. People can live under separate roofs and remain a family, while sharing a home does not necessarily make a household emotionally healthy.

Making divorce boring does not erase its pain, she says. It means refusing to turn a marriage’s end into a scandal, moral verdict, or lifelong burden for children. A family, she argues, is defined by the people who love, care for, and continue to show up for one another.