After decades with only lotion, my 62-year-old mom doesn’t do anything to her face, even wear makeup—and taught me confidence in aging

A choice made in college

The writer recently asked her mother why she had stopped wearing makeup. Growing up, she remembers her mother using eyeliner and lip gloss for special occasions, but for the past couple of decades, lotion has been the only thing on her face.

Her mother traced the decision to a college roommate who spent nearly an hour getting ready each morning, using expensive products and separating her eyelashes with a safety pin. The memory still seemed to upset her, even 40 years later.

“To me, it always looked like work,” her mother said, while acknowledging that others may enjoy makeup as art and self-expression. She decided not to spend her time on cosmetics or plastic surgery.

Room for different preferences

The mother’s choice did not stop her daughter from experimenting with makeup. In high school, she drove the writer and friends to the mall, where they bought products at the MAC counter, and did not criticize the writer’s overlined lips or overplucked eyebrows.

Now 35, the writer still enjoys makeup because it makes her feel pretty. She is also open to possibly trying Botox, and sometimes admires the looks of Hollywood stars.

What aging can mean

The conversation helped the writer understand that her mother’s decision was not a statement about whether makeup is good or bad, or about confidence. It was a way of choosing how to use the limited time in life.

Her mother’s face, the writer reflects, is shaped by nature and time rather than cosmetic procedures. Seeing her mother has helped the writer feel that she does not have to change her appearance or spend money trying to look pretty to be okay.