We don’t allow our toddler screen time, but sometimes envy parents whose phones make the day easier

A few exceptions for screens

Before becoming parents, the writer and her husband discussed their values. Raising a toddler has tested those ideas, and they have largely stayed with their approach while sometimes questioning whether screens could make parenting easier.

The appeal of quiet dinners

At restaurants, the couple often see children focused on phones or tablets while their parents enjoy a meal. They are not judging those families; they would also welcome a peaceful dinner.

They worry, however, that using a phone to occupy their son could lead him to ask for it constantly. That concern helps explain why they have not made screens a regular part of restaurant visits.

When childcare falls through

The temptation is stronger when daycare closes unexpectedly. During a snowstorm this past winter, roads and sidewalks took several days to clear, and school was closed. Though both parents could work from home, they found it impossible to work effectively with their son there.

He needed attention and could not occupy himself for more than 10 to 15 minutes. The parents tried taking turns, but neither got much work done, and their son became frustrated. They ultimately alternated days off to cover the childcare gap.

Choosing engagement over distraction

The writer says an active toddler leaves little room for relaxation, but his sociability has brought the family enjoyable experiences. She partly attributes that quality to his interacting with the world rather than being absorbed by a screen.

The family has been invited to meet the chef at their favorite French restaurant, and staff at their regular sushi place fuss over him and prepare orange slices. They sometimes think technology would make things easier, but say they value these moments and would not trade them.