When did spontaneous phone calls become rude?

For the younger generations raised with smartphones, there is one phone feature they often avoid at all costs: the call button.

The ubiquity of smartphones means that ringing someone up has become just one option among many. Now, we can send a text, email, DM, or voice note, and actual calls have fallen out of favor.

Somewhere along the way, making a phone call without warning became less a casual way to catch up and more of an annoyance — or even a sign there's been an emergency. However, spontaneous calls still have their fans, and etiquette experts told Business Insider that they can help foster connection and clarity in real time.

Spontaneous phone calls used to be exactly that: spontaneous. You'd call a friend because you were thinking about them, had a recipe to share, or simply wanted to hear their voice — no appointment required.

But are we missing something by leaving those unplanned conversations behind? Could bringing back the casual check-in call actually be good for our relationships, stress levels, and overall well-being?

For Mary Jane Copps, a communication expert known as the Phone Lady, the shift isn't just about younger generations preferring text messages over phone calls.

Instead, it's a combination of evolving technology, expectations, and the fact that our phones are now always with us. Unlike previous generations, today's phone calls can arrive anytime, anywhere — while someone is working, driving, running errands, or simply taking a break.

"That's the difference of the phone on the wall in the kitchen, you were always at home when you took a phone call," Copps said. "Whereas now you can be anywhere; you can be sleeping, you can be in a meeting, you can be skateboarding."

Still, it's not only that calls can come at inconvenient times. The way we communicate has also changed because we now have endless options with our technology.

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"While we call this a phone, it's really a computer with a phone app," Copps said, holding one up. "With this, I have the choice to text you, to email you, to talk to you on LinkedIn. I don't have to phone you."

The phone call didn't disappear — it simply became one option among many. With texts, DMs, emails, and video calls competing for attention, picking up the phone is no longer the automatic choice it once was.