People ask if I'm sad my son started kindergarten. After $87,000 in day care bills, I'm celebrating.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Mesha Griffith. It has been edited for length and clarity.
In the middle of August, I dropped my 5-year-old son, Ellington, off for his first day of kindergarten.
Since then, people have been asking whether I feel sad about it, about my little boy growing up and leaving day care behind. In response, I usually look at them and nearly laugh.
"I've spent more than $87,000 on day care over the past five years," I tell them. So no, I'm not sad.
Before Ellington was born, I knew we would use day care. My husband and I both work full-time, and staying home wasn't financially realistic if we wanted to meet our long-term goals. We wanted to save for Ellington's future college expenses and build a secure retirement so that he would never feel responsible for taking care of us financially later in life.
We also wanted to maintain the ability to enjoy things like family vacations without constantly worrying about money.
Personally, I never wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. I genuinely enjoy my work and have spent years building a career negotiating contracts I wasn't ready to walk away from. The thought of restarting my career after a five-year gap felt daunting.
Both sets of grandparents were still working, and while they would have loved to help care for Ellington while we worked, it simply wasn't an option.
When Ellington was 12 weeks old, he started at a day care center near our home. It wasn't anything fancy, just a typical day care. We knew it would be expensive, but it was a cost we had to accept. There was no way around it, so dwelling on it felt pointless.
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Dive deeper
- This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Mesha Griffith. It has been edited for length and clarity.
- In the middle of August, I dropped my 5-year-old son, Ellington, off for his first day of kindergarten.
- Since then, people have been asking whether I feel sad about it, about my little boy growing up and leaving day care behind. In response, I usually look at them and nearly laugh.
- "I've spent more than $87,000 on day care over the past five years," I tell them. So no, I'm not sad.
- Before Ellington was born, I knew we would use day care. My husband and I both work full-time, and staying home wasn't financially realistic if we wanted to meet our long-term goals. We wanted to save for Ellington's future college expenses
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